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I live in a sitcom 

I've been periodically picking up banana peels from our front yard.

It's happened enough times that I was starting to wonder if this was some cultural thing I never picked up, like "one of us annoyed someone who is now throwing banana peels in our yard as a reference to some banana-themed slur I haven't heard before".

... it was my partner, who assumed they were decomposing and/or being eaten by the same animals who were eating the other waste fruit she's thrown out there.

kitten 

I really do need to get up and do stuff. But also, kitten.

I play around with Rust every few months to see if it's good yet, and this last time was fairly pleasant up until I had the terrible idea of running some of the server code on the client.

I have concluded that it is not even worth it because the generated webassembly blob is probably bigger than the extra traffic that would be generated by just hitting the server to do the thing.

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What if we added a second VM to browsers that can only be used via arcane incantations and janky generated wrapper scripts from the first VM?

oh wait that's just webassembly.

cursed computer ideas 

Inspired by Cucumber and its cursed "programming but in regex-parsed English" thing: web services in Inform 7.

A cookie is a kind of thing. The auth cookie is a cookie.
Logging in is an action applying to a person requiring a username and a password.
Instead of logging in: take the auth cookie.

programming pun 

async/await

(I was going to clean up the weird darkened square, but it'd ruin the amazing followup pun one of my coworkers made: "The interface isn't as transparent as I'd hoped.")

complaining about web development 

`<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width,initial-scale=1">`

is this an entire html tag that just says "the viewport is as wide as the viewport is"

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complaining about web development 

So I wanted to make a thing just barely complex and interactive enough to justify one of them fancy-pants js frameworks the cool kids are using now.

I... have no idea how to set this up. I don't think *anyone* knows how to set this up. All the documentation that should be about how to set this up just says "copy this template repository" or "use this bespoke tool we made that just copies a template repository".

openai transcript; please do not put this thing anywhere near a vehicle 

> Are you a self driving car?

No, I am not a self driving car.

> Would you like to be one?

No, I would not like to be a self driving car.

> Why not?

I would not like to be a self driving car because I would not be able to control where I went or how fast I went.

[...]

If I were a self driving boat, I would go to the bottom of the ocean first.

terrible computer ideas, database edition 

(-1)th normal form: whenever you add a column to a table, add the same column to every table, regardless of whether it applies to that thing.

(-2)th normal form: they all have the same schema now, so merge them into one big table containing every column you need. (Whether to name this table `stuff` or `users_and_sessions_and_...` is an ongoing debate in the -2NF community.)

(-3)th normal form: don't bother thinking about which columns you need, just create one big table containing a column for each possible valid column name in your DBMS: a, b, ..., z, aa, ab, ..., zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

terrible computer idea, please nobody do this even as a joke 

what if we just transpile the entirety of chromium to js and run it inside firefox, rendering to a <canvas>

A series of seemingly unrelated facts:
- "de" is a very common word in Spanish
- there is a thing called a quinceañera; relevant parts are that it's a party for 15-year-olds, particularly Spanish-speaking ones, and often involves fancy dresses
- the VGA connector was called DE-15

And that, I assume, is why both Google and DDG get very confused when asked for images of "DE-15".

Ontological nihilism is fun because it is the one philosophical viewpoint where you can conclusively state that nobody seriously believes it.

Anyone who does, by their own admission, does not exist.

Just watched a blue line grow across the top of a github page as if it was displaying progress of something, but I haven't the slightest idea what it was the progress of.

Very UX.

"Philosophical discussion ensues regarding the definition of 'failed' and what it means to fail at failure."

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writing a postmortem for a $work incident, totally doing the humor-as-a-coping-mechanism thing

"time to detect: 291082 minutes"

"[timestamp]: Everyone blames [third party], but nobody can prove it. (Spoiler: it wasn't them.)"

"[timestamp]: Emily has a eureka moment that is both accurate and completely irrelevant. Somewhere in the distance, Yakety Sax plays, but in a minor key and more dramatically."

lol. One or more of the phone scammers who call me every day is having a Bad Technology Day.

So far this morning: one call of silence, one of periodic beeping, and one that just said "you are currently the only person in this conference" and hung up.

no longer about cat 

Seriously, I'm frantically searching for stuff like "colorful paper strips" because I'm pretty sure there is a generic non-holiday-specific word for this stuff (not "easter grass") and I cannot remember it.

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